In 2015, Matthew Teague published an essay in Esquire magazine. The entry point related to his wife’s cancer diagnosis and untimely death, but the focus of the essay was on how a friend became a trusted fortress who helped the family through the suffering. The essay is a poignant reading that speaks to the value of adult friendliness in a way that is rarely explored, and the earnest sincerity of the piece seemed like a natural fit for a film adaptation.
Even as “Our Friend” is an adaptation of an essay that explores terminal illness from a different angle, the film joins a subset of films about cancer that feels impossible to ignore. You know the type. Some are good, some not. But there is a familiar cadence to films about cancer – the diagnosis, the suffering, the outcome, and the A reception even so that “Our Friend” might be broken down into the ways in which it falls into the those patterns, the film is dependent on the ways in which it recognizes the most relentless aspects of Teague’s essay – the significance of empathy.
Director Gabriela Cowperthwaite privileges sincerity above all and that openness is key to how “Our Friend” examines the cross-section of his key character. Jason Segel is Dane, the titular friend, an innate if sometimes random man who is the easygoing third wheel of Matt and Nicole’s wedding (Casey Affleck and Dakota Johnson in a surprise surprise at how much he works). The trio have been involved since their younger years and their bond does not fade with time. When Nicole is diagnosed with cancer in this day and age, the diagnosis threatens to ruin the lives of the couple and their daughters. The diagnosis gives Dane a sense of purpose, and he throws himself into supporting the family in ways that come to illuminate the value of their shared friendship.
Brad Ingelsby’s script follows a non-linear pattern. The diagnosis comes early in the film, after which the film weaves the present and past into a disturbing tapestry as we come to make sense of the trio and the ways in which they rely on it together. It’s a structure suited to a looseness that sometimes feels uninspired, but also feels realistically representative of the underlying sense of turmoil that marks the characters’ engagement with their lives.
The main way the film divorces itself from Teague’s thesis is by centralizing Dane. By virtue of his thesis being personal, Teague’s article explores the state of his personal mind in a way that Ingelsby’s script occasionally erases. Instead, “Our Friend” is most explicit about examining Dane’s state of mind. Segel extends his typical comedic chops into a role that requires him to play aspects of himself that are not always on display. For many, “Our Friend” will emerge as the film that marks a marked change in the character of Segel’s screen. It’s good. He does a mighty job marrying Dane’s charming iniquity with a clear case of arrested development underscored with sadness
Cowperthwaite’s direction sometimes feels caught between the script’s interest in digging Dane’s space darkness with the joyful warmth of the trio’s early days. But that empathy of her direction is key, and the vivid sentiment runs throughout the film as Cowperthwaite finds specific moments of chemistry with the film’s entire cast – beyond the main trio . Even as Ingelsby Dane’s script privileges, Affleck emerges as the film’s hidden weapon. “Our Friend” is not a comedy; even as those flashback sequences work toward something like joy, the film works toward genuine melodrama and Cowperthwaite’s instructive instincts reflect that she doesn’t turn grief into a parade in the ways.
And Affleck’s very in-house performance feels most in harmony with Cowperthwaite’s efforts. It highlights the discomfort of Matt’s engagement with his grief, overshadowed by the film’s thoughtful arc of his daughter’s growing resentment. His scenes with Segel are some of the best in the film, which feels strange in a way that the central cancer patient sometimes feels almost peripheral. Johnson is good, though her role is the one very similar to familiar on-screen cancer presentations. But Cowperthwaite uses her natural warmth in ways that the film relies on – the worship that comes from Dane and Matthew needs to be justified and she does.
The film flirts with many possible paths and Cowperthwaite’s interest in characters, beyond the central trio pays dividends. Stage performer Denee Benton, for example, deepens a brief role in such a way that you yearn for her presence as she disappears in the second half. Marielle Scott adds springs of empathy and complexity to the role of “lover”. Cherry Jones pops up late in the film and offers a scene of great clarity and sensitivity. And Gwendolyn Christie (who enjoys pretty high billing for a short role) threads a scene that might go off track, with a sentimental sense of import that characterizes Segel’s best moment.
This is largely the potential spoiler his log line might suggest, but he is far more empathic and thoughtful than you would imagine. He manages to feel sweet without feeling over-thought or disingenuous, and there are modesty to his greatest intentions that make him adorable. The film avoids some of the more harrowing moments of the original essay, but in some ways its suggestions of the worst parts of cancer feel adequate. His engagement with grief as intrinsic to living feels timely. Its premiere at the end of January feels that it could possibly be drowned out by larger forthcoming releases with a greater focus on the Big Issue but “Our Friend” is tender and compelling in its humility.
Our Friend will be released on VOD on January 22.