“Little girls need to know their place, I’m sorry to say this because I don’t know the whole story, but I know these young people behave more dirty than the old people. ” This comment was posted under a story published recently by this newspaper about a man accused of spreading a nude photo of a child.
He was one of many who blamed the child, questioning her manners and her parents’ behavior.
Although it did not surprise me (I have had countless arguments with adults who believe that children should be blamed when sexually assaulted or raped), I became distressed and decided to tackle the issue this space.
Thankfully, there were many who condemned those who blamed the child and others who even tried to educate them about child sexual abuse and nurturing a child’s inappropriate relationships.
Most of the people who commented and blamed the child were women, unfortunately. Below are some of the comments made.
“This is completely wrong what he did. These days the young children wear skimpy clothes and make videos on TikTok etc, ”one woman wrote.
“Wow what’s wrong with some of these young people?” another questioned, not to mention the man’s contemptible criminal act.
“My question is how did the nude pictures get?” one asked, and was promptly answered by another woman: “No matter how he got the photos he wasn’t allowed to post them on social media.”
But it wasn’t done. He responded, “I know but let’s just say it’s his fault.”
“It’s just his fault. He’s an adult who should know better, ”someone responded.
Another said that while he should be held to account, “It is foolish on the part of both of them.”
“Okay, it was wrong to share but who shared it first? Or did he remove his nakedness. That young lady first had to share her naked pictures, ”said another.
A man agreed saying, “… right … this reminds me of women who get close to men they don’t know … then when things happen, and people find out. .. all of a sudden it becomes rape … ”
No attention was paid to the fact that this was a child, but even as an adult a crime was still being committed.
“I have a friend caught up in this same thing … of course it started with the woman (teenager) sending him naked pictures …,” he continued and later explained that he was not a child, but an 18 year old. -old.
“Personally, I would not engage in this sort of thing … the man I’m questioning here … was completely wrong …,” he said later grimly.
“But did you know … I’m shocked that some parents let their toddlers come up as weeds and not be educated about predators and their so-called friends on social media … and that’s the root of the problem … so I’m not digressing anything … Look at the whole picture here … where the issue started, “said another, no condemnation of the man.
“You can’t blame the man on your own,” added another
“It’s also the minors who sent her nudes … these damn young people these days [laughing emojis] chat with older men and do adult things [emoji] and their parents have a nooooo idea and when they go around their parents they are so innocent, ”said another, concluding her statement with several ridiculous emojis.
The above is just a small picture of how society views child sexual abuse and rape. The same view that is extended to women who are sexually assaulted. Many are finding ways to blame the victim and we need to speak up for these victims.
Thank goodness as I mentioned because there are those who actually put the condemnation where it should be.
“Child pornography is a crime,” one warmed up and another said the man needed a good beat before he was jailed.
“For all the people, thinking it’s not his fault, you should go do the same thing and see what would happen to you,” said another.
“Young thinking is printable. It’s easier to be influenced by a more mature person. They can be easily enforced and manipulated. Do you have no recollection of your early years and how vulnerable you were to those who seemed smarter and glib of the tongue? ”Asked one.
“The adult women in this comment section are somehow trying to blame the victim in utter contempt and should be ashamed of themselves. Just sick. That could be literally any of your female relationships and I suspect any of you would want others to add to her embarrassment, ”was another response.
“I can’t believe these comments. The mentality that women / women are always to blame is still beyond me. An underage child is an underage child and needs guidance, not exploitation. If this mentality does not change then these kind of men will always exploit, rape, beat and kill women, ”warned another.
“I swear that women are our own worst enemies. I cannot with these comments. Continue to validate the actions of these perverted men and pray that it will not reach your doorstep. ”
Spreading naked photos of anyone is a crime and more so a child. Under the Protection of Children Act, Cap 46:06, section 50, the following are offenses for which a person may be fined or imprisoned:
a) Exposing a child to indecent material including pornography;
b) Send and request nude or semi-naked pictures or any part of his or her body to and from a child whether through WhatsApp or any form of social media;
c) Exposing a child to sex toys or obscene objects;
d) Exposing a child to drugs, prostitution or alcohol use;
e) Employ a child to work on premises that sell alcohol or where prostitution is being carried out;
f) Having a child on or in premises where drugs or alcohol are being sold or prostitution is taking place.
The Child Care and Protection Agency (CCPA) noted in its October 25, 2020, 4 Min 4 Change article published in the Guyana Chronicle, that there are various approaches to dealing with a person who has been sexually abused or raped , and some methods are insensitive.
“Some think it’s the victim’s fault, eg ‘what was he / she doing in his room anyway at that time of night?’ or ‘He / she got what he / she was looking for, if you play with fire, you’re going to get burned’. These convulsions do nothing to help or heal the pain and trauma felt by the victim.
They were raped by someone who overpowered them by humiliating and sexually assaulting them, ”the agency warned.
He warned that parents and adults must report child sexual abuse to the police or CCPA without delay and should not take the law into their hands and prevent prosecution, by seeking compensation from the perpetrator for their silence; or by beating the culprit within an inch of his life. Both of these acts are accessories to the crime.
Here it is also important to understand the term sexual grooming, which many people have not heard of or simply ignore completely as they go along the path of blaming children and women.
According to the American Bar Association’s website, “Sexual promiscuity is a preparation process whereby a perpetrator gradually gains the trust of an individual or organization with the intention of being sexually aggressive. The victim is usually a child, teenager or vulnerable adult. ”
Nurturing inappropriate relationships is also an approach used by offenders which involves building trust with a child and the adults around a child “in an effort to access and him / herself alone. In extreme cases, offenders may use threats and physical force to sexually assault or abuse a child. More common, though, are subtle methods designed to build relationships with families.
“The offender can take on a caring role, befriend the child or even take advantage of their position of trust and authority to groom the child and / or the child’s family. These individuals intentionally build relationships with the adults around a child or look for a child who is less supervised by adults in his or her life. This increases the likelihood that the offender’s time with the child will be welcomed and encouraged, ”the association further added.
It is important for us, especially women, to understand the above information and not to blame children when they are abused. It’s time for us to build some real sisterhood (I know I’ve said it before, but not enough can be said) and help each other.
Please stop blaming children and women when they are being abused and provide support and ensure that the perpetrators are caught unresponsive.
If you know a child is being abused, call CCPA on the helpline on 227-0979 or email [email protected].