“Sometimes, you know, I would say that everything happens for the best and, you know, God is in charge. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling sad at times. I would cry on my own, especially when their birthday comes around. I don’t think anyone who lost a child would forget as long as they lived. At least not for me and it hurts sometimes. I’m not saying I’m sitting down and studying it all the time, but the pain is coming back, ”he told me quietly.
This sister lost twins, a boy and a girl, three years ago and recently spoke to me about her experience. She told me that every time she reads a story or hears about a mother who lost her baby at birth, the memories of her loss come back afresh.
“It’s like sometimes I relocate it because I know the mother is feeling it. To me it’s not something I could talk about. Like I didn’t know how to explain it to people, but it was a pain that only me could feel. I had to be strong because I had other kids. But I wish I could have time to just think about it. But then again my other children were alive I had to do what I had to do for them, ”he said in a matter-of-fact way.
She said she lost more than a year after losing her twin children holding some of the clothes she had bought for their arrival.
“I used to take off the little hats etc and look at them. I would imagine how they would have looked. It wasn’t easy. I know I was having twins and while I was happy I was wondering how I would support them because I had other children and it was already difficult. And now in retrospect, I wonder if it was because of things that I thought God was taking back, ”he said sadly.
“You know, I remember that day as it was yesterday. The morning I wake up and I feel like the babies are moving normally. I was apprehensive about them being born because you could imagine how heavy I was and then I was on bed rest for a while, so I was ready for them to come out. I’m starting to feel the pain and I know it’s time.
“So I can’t remember what really happens but all I know is the doctor told me how sorry he was and the babies didn’t do it. I was in pain and I was bleeding, and it was as if I was dreaming. We can’t really remember anything else. I can’t remember moving from one hospital to the next, nothing at all. When I finally came to myself I was in another hospital and then that’s when I know I had surgery, and my womb was removed. “
I asked her if she was crying when she heard the news.
“You know, at first it was like I was just shocked and like I don’t know, I didn’t even understand what it meant at first. All I know is that I felt so empty and I wanted to cry but I couldn’t cry. Not because of the womb but because babies died that made me so sad. I tell you, I feel empty. But as I said, God knows everything, ”he replied.
“And you know I didn’t really do anything, like really ask any questions or more. Some people might say I’m stupid because I lost two children, and, you know, it was the hospital’s fault. But to be honest I don’t know if that was anyone’s fault because from what I remember the nurse and doctors are doing what they had to do. And I was just grateful that I did it and now I’m still around to look after my other children, ”he continued.
“Do I now have to live with the pain. With each year it gets smaller but I don’t think I’d ever forget. I already had their names you know and sometimes I would call the names and wonder what they would look like if they were still here. I wouldn’t want other women to go through what you know because it’s not nice and that’s why I feel so angry when I see mothers losing babies. Only a mom going through that could understand how she really feels.
“I want to tell pregnant women to take care and look after yourself and those around them support them so that everything could work out well for them and the babies,” she said.
Over the past few months, there has been quite a lot of neonatal deaths in Guyana and even maternal deaths. I do not in any way accuse local health officials of those deaths, but I cannot get over seeing a midwife answering her phone as a woman moaned in pain.
A recent Reuters report revealed that a recently published international data review found that the COVID-19 pandemic had increased maternal and stillbirth rates. The report said maternal stillbirth and mortality rates have risen by about a third, with pregnancy outcomes generally worsening for babies and mothers worldwide, according to the data review.
The review combined data from 40 studies across 17 countries and found that locksmiths, disruption of maternity services, and fear of attending healthcare facilities all add to pregnancy risks, leading to worse outcomes overall for women and babies.
He quoted Professor Asma Khalil’s Reuters story, which co-led the research at St George’s University in London, as saying: “The COVID-19 pandemic has had a profound impact on healthcare systems. The unrest caused … has led to avoidable maternal and infant deaths, especially in low- and middle-income countries. ”
The review was published in the journal Lancet Global Health and found a general increase in the risks of stillbirth and maternal death during the pandemic, and found that the impact on poorer countries was disproportionately greater.
Neither is this report an attempt to release those responsible for the recent maternal and neonatal deaths that occurred here, but merely to highlight another pandemic collapse. As we remember our sisters and their families who have suffered because of the death of their children or even lost their lives, let us also remember our obligations to ensure that we remain safe during this time. The true debilitating effects of this virus may not be fully understood until another few years but enough is happening and we must understand that we all have a responsibility to prevent its spread.
I encourage all of us to follow COVID guidelines as we celebrate Easter weekend.