Every joyful and celebratory moment this year has felt like a forced attempt to maintain some normality. I honestly feel bad for anyone who had been mentally preparing for a big moment in 2020. I can’t begin to imagine the feeling of having to lock someone’s joy in the midst of despair. Especially when it’s a joy you may have been waiting a long time to experience.
Like most people, I miss a lot of things, even the things I don’t usually get involved in, like Halloween and wedding celebrations. I miss seeing all these cute and cute kids outfits and those with pictorial satire as well. I miss seeing the extravagance that marriages tend to attract from everyone in attendance. The pure joy of families coming together to bless unions is now hidden behind masks. This is a sad reminder that our routine has been modified.
Growing up, I remember December being the ultimate wedding month. It was almost certain every year that there would be a Boxing Day wedding invitation to our family. I remember the two main accessories choices are either a silver or gold clutch to match your silver or gold shoes. There has never been a migration of this trend; always understood.
I miss the wedding reception gossip, cashing in on the bride and groom and people either trying to count the money the new couple got or finding out who the foreign guests were. I miss the randomness of being able to have a marriage accident and that it’s very much in the countryside.
It was a special kind of excitement and fun that can’t be had in these circumstances. For those who have not postponed weddings and attend either as a guest or as part of the ‘bride’s tribe’, here are some things to consider:
Personalize your desire
Marriages by their very nature are capitalist. There is a lot of hype about what you should or should not have for your special day. Caves are easy even if you do not want to. Count this as an opportunity to say no. Everyone gets that we are in a pandemic. If ever there was an opportunity to create your own style of wedding without being judged too harshly now is the time.
Invitations to such special moments are a big deal for many. I didn’t realize this until I succeeded. I find that in our culture there are always three lists: the one you and your spouse want and the ones that every family wants. In fact, there should be only one list and that is the one approved by the bride and groom. Be ruthless with your list. Revised listings are something I’m hoping for trends after this pandemic. Heaven knows we spend too much time expecting much from people who don’t really know how to be wedding guests.
Tickets for Bridezilla
If you are a wedding party member, learn to let the bride have her Bridezilla moment this time. I always saw that the married party was more of a pageantry act rather than one fulfilling some kind of special mandate. Perhaps as part of the wedding party this time, participants could go on to find a way to support the bride, both on the day and at the planning stage, even if it’s a small wedding it is only. I would imagine, like everything else, that marriages are even more stressful now given the health risk.
Happy wedding season and don’t forget to wear your masks!