Today is the first day of the year. The idealist among us usually sees this change in calendar dates as a precursor to grand changes in their lives and the lives of others. While optimism is good, decisions need everything to do with active commitment. Unfortunately negative beliefs and actions have long cemented themselves as characteristic parts of our culture and old habits tend to die hard.
Given the general lack of commitment to dismantling dangerous cultural norms and attitudes, the patriarchal values of possession and control continue to govern our relationships with one another. Of course, women and children are the biggest victims.
Just a week ago, a man murdered a young woman and her mother before fleeing the scene. This story is dominating the media circle for the time being but it is not a new story. In the coming weeks and months, there will be many more such stories. This is our reality. We always operate in a constant loop of abuse and death. A major contributor to this is the lack of accountability in our communities.
When liability is mentioned, it is automatically assumed that a referral is made to the prison system. While in our current framework, the prison system is part of that, liability rarely ever begins or ends with the law. It starts first in the way we think, act and respond to ideas on gender in our homes, churches, workplaces and social groups.
There is a clear line that can be drawn from the hyper focus placed on “women’s work,” the place of women and women’s way of historical patriarchal control. Children, like women, are seen as attachments to men and their humanity only. They are the otters and the abused. Despite all the social, economic, and legislative progress that has been made, man’s belief systems such as headship or household law remain the norm.
Therefore, we will continue to see women and children beaten, abused and killed. We will continue to see sexual interference, violence and cyclical trauma. This is the link we will stay in unless we start to question the ideas we have been picked up on and are working to break these down.
Young boys are still raised to be tough and aggressive go-getters while young girls are still raised to be empathic and passive caregivers. The idea that “licking” is necessary to ensure good behavior is still promoted. Then most are amazed at the cruelty that goes on. They do not view these beliefs as intersectional issues that contribute to violent relationships. Particularly with regard to intimate partners, violent control and possession are normalized and framed as an expected part of a man and woman’s life.
As much as the media is trying to distance ourselves under the guise of objectivity, we are all vessels for the beliefs and attitudes around us. Given inherent prejudices, media personnel help maintain dangerous notions of women’s autonomy and gender equality. Despite the countless media censorship sessions and awareness campaigns often undertaken by local agencies and CSOs, many media outlets still adhere to sensationalism first, ethics remain.
At this point, it cannot be said that reporters and their associated editors are unaware of how the language used and the information disseminated can affect the lives or memories of those persecuted. It’s more likely that they are simply comfortable with the dynamics of physical and sexual abuse and the blame that often comes with it.
How else does someone justify news reports that the young girl is “sexually active?” The fact of the matter is that many sexually active young children suffer from interference and rape. Basic media morals insist that details that would reveal the identity of children, especially those who are vulnerable and have been victims of sexual offenses, should not be included in a story. So, then, what was the relevance of this information to the public? This was not only discreet, it is an integral part of a rape culture that seeks to frame young black and brown women as readily available for sex. It seeks to remove the focus from the person (s) committing crimes against the victim and place that blame on the victim himself. The media has always had a major role to play in shaping public awareness. To our mutual disadvantage, this is not a role that many take very seriously.
The reality is that abuse against women and children and other violent crime has been increasing. The pandemic has removed many safety nets for vulnerable people and has also increased financial stress which often contributes to increased violence. The effects of this period will last us a very long time and if we are serious about changing for the better, now is the time to start doing the work that is needed. Implantation, accountability and growth – this should be our community mantra in this year 2021.