Sandy Jackman never expected to become a hate crime survivor. “Life was never very bad for me, I never had any problems with anyone because of who I was. My family accepted me, my church accepted me, and nothing really changed when I came out, ”says Sandy, who is described as a joyful person who is community focused and comfortable with who she is.
The strength of the community was instrumental in helping Sandy receive the medical care and fresh start she needed after being attacked by acid in June, 2013. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans family, friends, and activists came ( LGBT) all together to keep her safe and ensure that she and her son would settle into their new home in Canada, where she has been resident for about seven years now.
Sandy feels much safer and more free but the effects of the attack remain greater. Clearly scarred on the left side of her face and chest, she still needs regular medical treatment to help manage pain. Despite this, she tries not to view her disorders as limitations but rather as a reminder to live her life to the full.
“The period after my attack was stressful for me. I was going through so much pain and sometimes I wondered when it would be over. I went to work out and ride a bike, then suddenly I couldn’t bathe, brush my teeth or do anything for myself. Waking up every day and seeing the way I looked was difficult. I never wanted to look in a mirror. But people gave me hope, letting me know that it was still okay for me to laugh, make jokes and like the things I liked, I had to give my body a chance to heal. ”
Today Sandy is an avid sportsman and gets the joy of being able to live her life as she sees fit, posting snippets of her trips on Tik Tok @ sugar1990 regularly.
Describing the traumatic attack as one of the most horrific experiences of her life, Sandy noted that media coverage of the attack had made things even worse. “I felt horrified at the newspaper coverage because it was all a lie. No one came to me. Nobody asked me anything. They had no right to slander me like that, ”said Sandy.
In Guyana and the rest of the Caribbean, those who identify as LGBT often find themselves victims of physical and mental trauma. Negative portraits of LBT women
continue to dominate the media. Portraits usually fetishise or blame their gender identity and sexual orientation as justification for the violence against them. In a space where the majority of media personnel rarely do due diligence and trends flowing into reports, the wrong story behind Sandy’s attack was quickly spread and confirmed in the public’s mind.
Several news articles painted the attack against Sandy as one caused by a triangular love affair in which she was part. Sandy believes that her attraction to women is used to cover up the true motives for the crime of hatred and jealousy. “I was never in a triangular affair. I wasn’t burned with acid because of that – the person who threw acid at me was a man I had seen for five years. ”
The man in question is a well-known local businessman that Sandy met when she was 16. Karen Jackman, who adopted Sandy when she was just three months old, reported her opposition to the man’s involvement with Sandy. “From the beginning I told her that this guy wasn’t a good person. He was someone we know because her father used to work with him for many years. He was very controlling Sandy, he always had a set of people watching her, ”says Karen.
During this time Sandy was still finding out who she was and what she wanted for herself and her child but being under the thumb of the much older man made it difficult. “I was a kid, I had just had my son and he took advantage of that. He was very possessive. I always had to fight to be a teenager and enjoy life. If I went out anywhere, it would always display. Many times I became violent but always fought back. ”
Sandy said that when she found out she was attracted to women, he was even more aggressive towards her. “I know he sent those guys to attack me, I had no problem with anyone else. This was not the first time he had tried to hurt me seriously. He once tried to poison me through food, I became very ill but I didn’t die. He was trying to kill me so bad, ”he said.
The rates of Personal Partner Violence among LGBT people are similar and in many cases higher than heterosexual rates. A report by COC Netherlands and Guyana RainBow Foundation (GuyBow), entitled, “From Fringes to Focus – A Dive deep into the reality of living Lesbian, Bisexual, Queer Girls and Masculine Trans Persons in 8 Caribbean countries,” found that 28% of respondents believed that sexual and physical assaults against them were motivated by their sexual orientation and gender identity.
Shortly after Sandy let the man know she was ending the relationship and dating a woman, she was attacked. “The same day I was burned, he called to say he wanted to meet me and I told him where I was. He kept calling to confirm where I was, which was strange to me. The last time he called and I replied he didn’t say anything. I think the call was a signal because right then two men on a bicycle approached me and threw the acid in my face. “
That day marked the beginning of ongoing health issues and doctor visits to Sandy. “She had to go through so many surgeries and it was so painful, she even lost her eye. When she left Guyana she could not move her arms. They were both up in the air, her feet spun up, and she could barely walk or move. Today we are so proud that she can run and do whatever she wants, ”said Karen.
While police officers collected a statement from Sandy, no official allegations were made. As Sandy received constant messages and phone calls threatening her death, the family became very concerned about her safety and did not pursue the case. Sandy had to be placed in a safe house after being discharged from hospital. “I couldn’t speak the truth because he had people watching me and threatening to kill me. It was scary. I wasn’t the only one who did this to him though. Shortly after me he had people throwing acid at his baby’s face. She was a nurse at GPHC, ”said Sandy.
Despite the trauma of the attack, Sandy aspires to live life on her terms and has decided it’s time to finally share her side of the story. However, she is still unable to act on her desire to visit her homeland due to security concerns. “Guyana is my home, I feel safer in Canada but I always felt more comfortable in Guyana,” says Sandy.
Karen, Sandy’s adopted mother, notes that Sandy’s inability to return home is one of her greatest concerns. “One day we would love to see her again, we miss her very much. We talk to her and her son almost every day, but it would be good to have her home, ”she said.