Slinging mud in parliament
Kaieteur News – Lady Astor was known to have many run-ins with Prime Minister Winston Churchill. One time, he turned to me and said, “If I were my wife, I’d put poison in your coffee.”
Churchill replied, “If I were a husband, I would drink it.”
On another occasion, a British MP told Churchill, “Mr. First Minister, do you have to fall asleep while talking? ”
Churchill replied, “No, it’s voluntary only.”
Even when Churchill wanted to insult you, he did so with sophistication. On one occasion, Labor MP Bessie Braddock turned to Churchill and said, “Winston, you are drunk and what more, you are drunk.”
Churchill ruined, “Bessie, my dear, you’re ugly and what’s more, you’re disgusting ugly. But tomorrow, I will be sober and you will still be abominably ugly. ”
The art of return is as old as mankind. One researcher excavated the story of a famous Greek citizen who was not visited by his adult son. When he made inquiries, he was told that the young man was ill.
Being a worried parent, he went to his son’s home, which was some distance away. As he entered, he noticed a beautiful young woman exiting through the front door. He entered the house and into his son’s bedroom, where he found his son in bed. He turned to him and asked, “How are you feeling my son?”
The son replied, “Much better. The fever has just left me. ”
The father replied, “Yes, I passed it when I came in.”
Then there’s the story of the man after whom the Webster dictionary is said to have derived its name. One time, he was making out with one of his flights when his wife barked at them. He turned to him and annoyed, “Noah, I’m surprised! “
Webster, known as the man of words, answered almost immediately, No my dear, I am the one who sighs; you are amazed. ”
Groucho Marx once told a man, “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll make an exception.”
When Mark Twain was once asked if he was attending the funeral of a late objector he said, “I didn’t attend the funeral but I approved it.”
Our politicians have lost the art of responding almost recklessly, suddenly, cleverly and often with wit to other comments. Repartee is a refined art, which should be part of the verbal weapons of our elected representatives.
The best repartee is often found when talking about politicians. When one man was asked what he thought of Donald Trump, he replied, “A fool and his money get elected soon.”
Among the senators of Guyana, Boysie Ramkarran was said to be the most gifted. Once, Burnham turned to him and said, “Boysie, I know more jokes than you!”
Boysie turned to him and said “Yes, I agree.” Pointing to Burnham Ministers in the front benches, he added, “Because you have appointed them all!”
Burnham himself was a master of the return. V. S Naipaul wrote that he was present when Burnham was addressing a public roadside meeting. Jagan was then the Premier League and Naipaul brought a reduction to the meeting from Jagan’s chauffeur. He connected, while Burnham was talking, that a young boy was riding past on a bicycle and shouting, Burnham! ‘
Burnham returned to him, “Mister, to you!”
Next a man in a car drove past and shouted, “You’re lying! You are lying! ”
Burnham completed the sentence he was dealing with and then added, as the car disappeared up the street, “And that’s something a jackass will never understand.”
Unfortunately, the art of repartee, for which Boysie and Burnham were among the best local practitioners, has fallen into preemptive, personal and slanderous attacks, utter homophobic and outrageous remarks. What happened on the opening day of the Guyana debate in Guy’s Budget is a sad testament to the character and debate skills of some of the individuals now sitting in our National Assembly, and the decline of the art of heckling and repartee.
(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of this newspaper.)