By Krysta Bisnauth
Krysta Bisnauth is a Senior Advocacy Officer
at Freedom United. He emigrated to New York
of Guyana in 2020.
Every year towards the end of November, you start to see orange everywhere for just over two weeks. It marks the 16 Days of Action Against Gender Violence which begins on the 25th. This day is officially recognized worldwide as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women (IDEVAW). On this day in 1960, 3 sisters were brutally murdered in the Dominican Republic for protesting dictatorship. Now, the whole world is agitating against violence against women on the anniversary of the Mirabel sisters’ murders.
It is quite fitting that the Caribbean played such a role in this particular global movement. For a small region, our rate of violence against women is ridiculously high. A recent UN Women survey of 5 Caribbean countries found that in all, half or more than half of women they have experienced some form of violence (physical, emotional, economic, etc.) in their lives. For example, in Guyana, 55% of women reported experiencing some form of violence. The worldwide average is 33%.
The high rate of gender-based violence is particularly alarming given that cases are always under-represented with at least half of women abused being too frightened to approach the police. Some of these women think they don’t deserve better, some convince themselves it’s going to change, most will stay and stay quiet because they don’t have options – they will far too many lose their lives.
And the Caribbean will continue as it has always been – keeping the main focus on the state of their favorites, men and boys.
This will be accompanied by openings for women on special occasions – Mothering Sunday, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Women’s Sunday. Last Monday, for example, many were quick to publicly express love and appreciation of the women in their lives. However, the purpose of the day of recognition suffers from transformation into something entirely different from its intent in the rush to share flowers and inspirational quotes.
International Women’s Day (IWD) grew out of protests and labor strikes led by women in the early 20th century. It was revived in the sixties as a day of activism for women’s rights. After its adoption by the United Nations in the seventies, it gained worldwide popularity, and its observation included celebrations of notable gender equality achievements.
It is vital that we remember its roots because while IWD is celebrated in the Caribbean, there is a misogyny as well. ‘Feminist’ is still being treated as an insult. “Not all men” must be heard when trying to talk about gender-based violence. That women like to be harassed on the streets (it’s a compliment). That men are persecuted. That men are also abused. That boys are left behind at school. It is always a problem to talk too much about women in the Caribbean – unless it is devoid of political (power) implications. They will give us a day but this small fleet space is not even for talking about the serious structural challenges we face. Men have to tell their wives how amazing they are for being women. For girls to shout out to their girlfriends.
In a post-truth world, it is tempting to say that everyone is free to choose their own reality. Someone might say ‘Well, this is what Women’s Day means to me.’ But if IWD is stripped of its original meaning, what do we lose in the process? While it may seem like spoiled sport behavior that celebratory wishes do not completely break it, it is important to question seemingly innocuous practices even if they may – albeit unintentionally – lead to harm. In this case, I believe that the small space should not be held to truly account for the social and economic structures that contribute to violence against women to kind but empty gestures. At the celebration, the battle must not be forgotten.
Due to the fact that the rate of violence against women is too high.
We have this problem in the Caribbean where we are accustomed to seeing others as a means to an end. It is not unnatural considering how literally our societies were artificially implanted for use by the plantation owners, by the sugar barons, by the market. We were created – as it were – as means to an end.
And so, here we are centuries later and we cannot crawl out of this objectification of human beings – ourselves and others. This is not only sad but has dangerous implications.
The thing about violence against women is that it is rooted in the dehumanization of women and girls – seeing them as objects for action. Women are for sex, for bearing your children, for cooking your food, for good wine, for looking at and touching. Being sexualized in popular culture – like soca, dancehall, fairground and chutney culture – but not the owners of their own sexuality. They do not have the right to physical integrity – not to be touched by people they do not want to be touched. To be educated about and have access to family planning. Leaving relationships that no longer work for them. To be upset when they feel disrespected. Insist that they prefer it.
Women live and die by exerting masculine privilege and power. You know what that looks like? Only he can go crazy. Only his crime, his wound, his sense of injustice count. When she feels these things, she’s a crazy woman, hysterical, over-reacting, childish, she’s weak. When he does, he is manly, justified. He has justice on his side and how dare she? Her stories are fake, confusing – she doesn’t think straight. His are the only truths.
Women have to adjust themselves over and over again. We bend and bend ourselves to fit into neat corners, we stretch ourselves to shelter others from falling shots, we rise and fall with the ebb and flow. We are reinventing ourselves to be what is needed most – chef? Cleaner? Teacher? No problem. Nurse? Sure thing. Butcher, baker, candlestick maker? Why not!
We work around the shortcomings of others, while working on our failures that may be unsatisfying to others. We understand even though we are not understood. We are strong – no, fierce – and gentle, insightful and humble, sexy and wholesome, outgoing and mysterious, a domestic goddess and a full-time professional.
We do the paid work to help keep our families going with unpaid childcare and home work.
And still, while we can deal with all this and more, we are then subdivided at home, in the workplace and in the political arena.
These are the kinds of messages I would have loved to see going around on Women’s Day: It’s not love if you don’t respect her when she says no. It’s not love if you beat it. It’s not love if you look at her with another man and reflect on murder. It’s not love if you think you know better than she always does. It’s not love if you think you’re in charge. It’s obsession, it’s addiction, it’s toxicity, despair – but it’s not love.
Being women is not naturally better for leadership or more deserving than men. That men do not live complex and difficult lives where they too may have to condition themselves to go through, to be shamed and abused, to be abused and oppressed. That there are no impossible, paradoxical standards imposed on men as well. Most people in today’s world struggle. That is a fact. Most people are not served by global systems.
But at the bottom of every vulnerable group are women. From the general struggle most face, women and girls have experienced strange, additional burdens because of our gender.
Also, crucially, women are people. What the fight for women’s rights ultimately means is being treated with the dignity that human beings deserve.
So, what’s to be done?
First, we need to have these conversations. She does not belong to women’s rights groups or feminists. We all have to have it. IWD is a great time to do that.
For men, practical measures include seeing women as equals to begin with – with as much agency as yourself. If women are different – for example, more emotional – then their differences should be accepted as a fact of life’s diversity. If they are the same thing – that is, emotion runs through the sex and gender spectrum even though environmental roles may inhibit or discourage social roles – then they should be treated as such. Either way, just provide the space for women to be who they are. Learn about patriarchy, sexism, and other forms of oppressive social practice. Demonstrate egalitarian behavior to other men and boys. Support institutional measures to empower women.
For women, take a place. Be yourself, speak your thoughts, stand up for what you feel deep down is right, trust yourself. At the same time, ask where intuition comes from and be aware that centuries of sexist culture can feel as natural as breathing. Learn about feminism. Recognize that when women fail to be good role models in extraordinary roles, it could be the result of sexism rather than justification. Change starts with yourself, of course, but gender equality is not the result of an isolated moment of feeling good about yourself but it will not require systemic social change for everyone. Be wary of a version of feminism or ’empowerment’ that requires you to simply buy things.
The Caribbean needs progressive social structures to empower women and girls including sex education in schools, access to family planning, safe abortion services in public hospitals, prohibition of corporal punishment, adequate refuges and support systems for women who need to leave abusive situations, subsidized or free. childcare for working mothers, and law enforcement who know how to handle domestic and sexual violence cases in ways that do not re-victimize survivors. This would be a good start.
The practice of non-violent communication, self-reflection and critical assessment could all have social structures that influence their lives and relationships.
And until this utopian vision manifests itself, contribute to movements that broaden the rights of women and girls. Support local NGOs seeking the Sisyphean task of combating gender-based violence and sexual and reproductive freedom. Of course, where there are victories, celebrate them. Celebrate the legalization of abortion, high rates of women’s political participation, a rigorous domestic violence infrastructure, the decriminalization of same-sex relations and a vibrant Caribbean feminist community.
Celebrate the victories – but the battle continues.